I am grateful for the people that come by my blog, it may not be many but it is enough and I am forever grateful.
It just sucks that everything I try to put my all into is cancelled out by this over-whelming sadness, and my mind is overflowed with thoughts and memories and everything else. I have tried many times to just sit down and write but…theres nothing. Trying to read gets invaded by a flock of things and I mean things. Sometimes I think I’m the only person who can think about something completely different and not just one things many things all whilst reading, and it sucks. This lonely road I’m taking seems endless, and unfortunately its hurting the areas I love the most.
I mean i barely have the energy to complete basic needs. My speech is slurring and I’m forgetting how to speak, and I feel like I’m just getting angrier and sinking deeper and deeper into a hole and I wish I didn’t open. I don’t have the ladders to help me up out of it anymore, they’re gone (my uni counsellor and doctor).
I am coming back. No doubt about it. I am not giving this up but…right now I just need time to just breathe a little.